For what its worth

It's a dull pain, hammering steadily, as it tries to break through a guard of carefully crafted avoidance. Each jolt runs through, while the faint sound echoes against the emptiness. It confirms the truth, of nothingness.
It stops after forming a crack and then... it collapses. It gives way to a strong wave which slams against the jagged stones on the shore. Splitting the water into two with its sturdiness. There. The scramble begins. Frantically, driven by obsession. Searching. Searching. Searching. For some way to obtain that want, that need.
Like a possessed addict, refraining from the desire but being mercilessly pulled, by unknown, unseen hands. Of course, there is no wish to let go. Of course, afraid that the fuel will destroy everything in unimaginable ways. A fear of having it all turn into dust with a flick of a finger. Against what was so carefully built.
There is the discovery of new things through this compulsion. Or what seems like a compulsion. Of having no expectations. That, a seemingly wrong decision. But wait...
Something from somewhere... Calls out from randomness... In a tuneful voice... It sings:

Come take my hand,
Let's explore together,
Take a leap of faith,
With me, forever.

I do not promise,
A journey of no trouble,
I do not promise,
A journey of no pain.

I promise,
A journey of laughter,
I promise,
A journey of some gain.

Come take a leap,
Come take a risk,
Come show me you care,
Come with me, forever.

I trust you won't,
Let me fall,
I trust you will,
Guide me well.

Come hold my hand,
Let's explore together,
Take a leap of faith,
With me, forever.

Despite the call, the pain still hammers. But its sweet now. The addiction. Like honey. As it tries to trickle through the little openings, stealthily, craftily.
Each jolt runs through, giving shape to renewed hope and to new wishes. It confirms the truth, of a future.
Yes, there is a crack and yes, it collapses. But it welcomes pure pleasure. A smooth fluid motion as the wave washes over. There. The scramble does begin. Frantically, driven by obsession. There, being pulled across the shore. By strong steady hands. Of support and strength. Of trust and faith.
Of course there is no wish to let go. Of course there is a wish to want every moment. To cherish, to have, to learn and to keep. To create beautiful memories.
A new found confidence of having it all turn into reality, with a flick of a finger supporting what is being carefully built. Meticulously. Each turn, curve, edge and corner.
There is a discovery of new things through this incident. Of understanding expectations. That, a knowingly correct decision.
Something from somewhere... Calls out from randomness... In a tuneful voice... It sings...

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I feel blessed at this point in time. For all the people in my life that make it worth living. Who understand me, who know me, who appreciate me and who love me.
Without the need for any social networking site statements, personal alerts or constant reminders. At the stroke of midnight. Throughout the day. You remembered. You know. That is all that matters to me. That is all I want.