Reflections

Scraps

6 hours. 12 hours. 24 hours. A day.
The clock ticked.
"Focus light". The Fountain Head. Bed.
The clock ticked.
"Dark Black". Dimple. Stripped Shirt. White.
The clock ticked.
Om Namaha. Geethanjali. Em Maya Chesave.
The clock ticked.
Cutting Classes. Imposter Sign Ins. Drunken Nights.
The clock ticked.
Leader. Medical School. Flying Rockets.
The clock ticked.
Noctural Studying. Morning Tea. Sleeping In.
The clock ticked.
Fights. Jail. Broken. Lost. Alone.
The clock ticked.
White Rats. Killing. Chili Intoxication. Lab.
The clock ticked.
Study Partner. Immunology Lectures. Steps.
The clock ticked.
Kitchen Singing. Random Jokes. Biryani.
The clock ticked.
Match. Lake. Call. Writing. Gift.
The clock ticked.
Friends history. Pictures. Past.
The clock ticked.
Trips. Poses. Birthdays. India.
The clock ticked.
Gaining Speed. Rushing fast. Loosing control.
The clock ticked.
Shared families. Unshared future. Empty present.
The clock ticked.
One word. Nana. Nothing. Nada.
The clock stopped.

She hid behind a pillar,

Concealed from the worlds view,
Refusing to be seen,
By nearly all but a few.

I opened my arms wide,
Beckoning for her to come,
Smiling whole heartedly,
Assuring her she was the one.

She peeked from behind,
Revealing her dark beautiful eyes,
Hesitant to take a step forward,
Unable to know truth from lies.

I softly whispered a secret,
So only she could hear,
That I would hold her close,
Promising she had nothing to fear.

I have failed to place,
What convinced her so,
My display of willingness,
Or her curiosity to know.

But she ran forward with eagerness,
Gripping me tightly like never before,
Leaving us both content with the thought,
We had received what we asked for.

For what its worth

It's a dull pain, hammering steadily, as it tries to break through a guard of carefully crafted avoidance. Each jolt runs through, while the faint sound echoes against the emptiness. It confirms the truth, of nothingness.
It stops after forming a crack and then... it collapses. It gives way to a strong wave which slams against the jagged stones on the shore. Splitting the water into two with its sturdiness. There. The scramble begins. Frantically, driven by obsession. Searching. Searching. Searching. For some way to obtain that want, that need.
Like a possessed addict, refraining from the desire but being mercilessly pulled, by unknown, unseen hands. Of course, there is no wish to let go. Of course, afraid that the fuel will destroy everything in unimaginable ways. A fear of having it all turn into dust with a flick of a finger. Against what was so carefully built.
There is the discovery of new things through this compulsion. Or what seems like a compulsion. Of having no expectations. That, a seemingly wrong decision. But wait...
Something from somewhere... Calls out from randomness... In a tuneful voice... It sings:

Come take my hand,
Let's explore together,
Take a leap of faith,
With me, forever.

I do not promise,
A journey of no trouble,
I do not promise,
A journey of no pain.

I promise,
A journey of laughter,
I promise,
A journey of some gain.

Come take a leap,
Come take a risk,
Come show me you care,
Come with me, forever.

I trust you won't,
Let me fall,
I trust you will,
Guide me well.

Come hold my hand,
Let's explore together,
Take a leap of faith,
With me, forever.

Despite the call, the pain still hammers. But its sweet now. The addiction. Like honey. As it tries to trickle through the little openings, stealthily, craftily.
Each jolt runs through, giving shape to renewed hope and to new wishes. It confirms the truth, of a future.
Yes, there is a crack and yes, it collapses. But it welcomes pure pleasure. A smooth fluid motion as the wave washes over. There. The scramble does begin. Frantically, driven by obsession. There, being pulled across the shore. By strong steady hands. Of support and strength. Of trust and faith.
Of course there is no wish to let go. Of course there is a wish to want every moment. To cherish, to have, to learn and to keep. To create beautiful memories.
A new found confidence of having it all turn into reality, with a flick of a finger supporting what is being carefully built. Meticulously. Each turn, curve, edge and corner.
There is a discovery of new things through this incident. Of understanding expectations. That, a knowingly correct decision.
Something from somewhere... Calls out from randomness... In a tuneful voice... It sings...

_________________________________________________________________

I feel blessed at this point in time. For all the people in my life that make it worth living. Who understand me, who know me, who appreciate me and who love me.
Without the need for any social networking site statements, personal alerts or constant reminders. At the stroke of midnight. Throughout the day. You remembered. You know. That is all that matters to me. That is all I want.

Habit

Trundle along,
Over and over,

It has become a habit.

The same path,
Methodical as always,
It has become a habit.

Take not from me,
My familiarity,
It has become a habit.

Veer me away,
I steer back,
It has become a habit.

What is missing,
I tend to miss,
It has become a habit.

What you read,
A lie, it can be,
It has become a habit.
___________________________________________________________________
"We get so much in the habit of wearing disguises before others that we finally appear disguised before ourselves"
~Francois de la Rochefoucauld

The winner

She strutted down the sidewalk with her head held up high with confidence, scorning the world around her; ordaining herself the queen of all the mere mortals that walk the earth. She sneered at that girl, that frivolous creature who always has her head in the clouds. The venom throbbed through her veins and she seethed with anger as she thought about the moment that was about to come.
The day she had been waiting for all her life.

The end.

She wasn’t going to endure it any longer, the torture she went through every time those people played with a dilemma in their inconsequential minds. She knew that witch had unimaginable power, she wove a foggy veil with her magic and covered their eyes with it so they wouldn’t see where they were headed. She cajoled and cooed as she pulled these gullible airheads by the hand and lead them down a false colorful path.

She looked up and she saw her waiting. In an open place, with no witnesses. Absolutely nobody. She had her face turned to the sky, with an oblivious smile playing on her lips. She had an aura of serenity enveloping her, was she really a witch? For a split second, she felt almost sorry for this pretty being. She caught herself before she turned around and headed back. NO! She was not going to fall into the trap that so many others fell into. She was not one of those senseless human beings. She held her ground and walked toward her carefully. She wondered how her magic would work on her. Would she be lead down the false path too? Would she let herself be walked down that path?

***

She turned around and faced her, as her smile spread wider across her heart shaped face. Her voice was like a song, perfect to make any person believe every word she was saying. Her eyes twinkled as she saw her friend after what seemed like ages. She was happy that she wanted to meet her. But it was an odd place to be meeting. She would rather have met at a fair or a park, somewhere colorful and full of life, because this space was so devoid of every joy known to her.

She looked at her pitch black hair which was clumped, unwashed and disheveled. Her eyes showed no sign of emotion and her skin looked aged, as if she’d endured every single trouble this world had to offer her. She felt sorry for her friend. She wanted to reach out and give her a comforting hug. She wanted to tell her that it was going to be okay. But she didn’t move. She just quietly smiled and hoped it would convey everything that she wanted to tell her.

The beginning.

She contemplated holding out a hand so she could show her a new world rather than the dreary one she was living in. Perhaps if she said something now, it would change her situation right now. It might be a new beginning for her. She pondered over using her magic to start an idea she had been playing with her head. Perhaps, if she just spoke! Her beautiful pale pink lips quivered as she whispered, “Hello… I hope…”

***

It was done. Quick and easy. Ha! No more… No more…

Change

Ah, here it is… another year. The fading of the old and the beginning of new. As much as I love the innovative things that occur in this world as time goes by, I cannot help but do a complete 180 and think about what was. And the first thing that struck my mind as I opened gmail was how I missed writing a letter. No, not an email.
But a letter, with the freshly scented paper, an envelope, and a stamp.
and with that thought, another one followed… and another…
I thought of how I missed sitting in front of those huge boxed computers, instead of the sleek new ones with flat screens.
I miss listening to the steady buzz of a cassette rewinding.
I miss using a floppy disk to save my work, instead of a flash drive.
I miss watching television, considering all the shows I watch these days are available online.
I miss manually opening my car door and fumbling with the keys, now that they open with a simple click.
I miss using the phones that actually have a cord attached to them and forced me to stay in one place.
I miss the anticipation of developing pictures from a camera film, instead of having them available immediately through a digital camera.

It never fails to amaze me to see how things have changed in just a span of ten years. And i'm pretty sure this feeling will never cease to exist, considering that more changes are underway.
So here's to yet another new year! and more change!

_________________________________________________________________________________
"Technology doesn't drive change, It enables change"
-Unknown

There's One

There's one,
who believes snow white,
is as good as dead.
people live to die,
the heart exists to be bled.

There's one,
who exists with no fear,
and left it up to fate.
relies on absolute destiny,
believing its never too late.

There's one,
who is on a constant search,
for perfection in every way.
if not this one, or this one,
it carries on as child's play.

There's one,
who fought against destiny,
made the dream come true.
and now awaits the day,
to become one from two.

There's one,
who allowed time to pass by,
and now is filled with regret.
the questions are never ending,
a constant reminder, never to forget.

There's one,
who lives in a state of confusion,
ignoring the inner desire.
being portrayed as a hypocrite,
and marking self a liar.

Heaven Of My Earth

Here is where I spent my lazy days,
Oblivious, ignorant, my childish ways,
Mother’s love, sibling rivalry, fair plays,
Emulating monsters, elfs and fays.

Have I to reach this place,
Over the ocean, the empty space,
Merely with an unwavering pace,
Eagerly, on a never ending chase.

Has it become my asylum,
Of memories, visiting a custom,
Moving down the path seldom,
Encircling back to the new chasm.

Hence, I come back to this,
Only to find something amiss,
My sanctuary of complete bliss,
Exactly what I cannot dismiss.

Reflections

Scraps

To give and take

For what its worth

Habit

The winner

Change

There's One

Heaven Of My Earth

Mirage

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