What was and what will be
I sat there, staring out into the vast blueness that spread out like a velvet blanket before me. The smooth ripples floated across the surface, as if dancing to an unheard song, while the cool breeze escorted the water, being faithful to the steps of the ballet. They kept in sync together, waltzing to a certain secret rhythm of their own.
I had no clue what I was doing there, witnessing this seemingly clandestine scene. perhaps I was there to calm myself down, to clear my head of the thousands of thoughts running through it, or just maybe to reflect upon the happenings in my life.
Whatever the case, the sight in front of me offered me an abode in which I could seek sanctuary; while I let my thoughts run wild. It allowed me to admire the simplicity with which the world was made; while I tried to untangle the web of my own life.
It was like any other day in the windy city, but for me, it meant so much more. After what seemed like eons, the day had finally arrived. I was conflicted within myself on what to think. I had trained myself, literally entrenched it into my head that after all this waiting, if things didn't work out, I could just simply say "F*** it". I would try again, of course, but I wouldn't let myself dwell on the negative aspect of it.
But what would I think if things did work out?
I saw it beautifully spread out before me... of what life would be like after the confirmation. I knew that this wasn't my entire life, that there were so many other things that mattered more, but I couldn't deny that it was a big part of me. of what I always wanted. Of what I always worked toward.
I thought about all those days I slaved through to just wait for this day. Those countless hours of studying, painstaking waiting on where I would be accepted and wondering when I would be able to begin yet another chapter.
But when I really think about it, my ultimate goal wasn't ever to become a 'doctor' in life. It wasn't what defined me, of who I truly was. It was a part of me, yes. But not ME.
It was about... hmmm... balance...
I suppose it had always been that way and this day was just another reflective moment when I tried to place my priorities together. Of course today mattered a lot, but what mattered most was balance in my life. This fine rope that I walked on, trying not to tip over and get sucked into the whirlpool of chasing after success or falling face down into an abyss of fun, where I never set any goals for myself. If I hadn't done that, I wouldn't be where I was today.
______________________________________________________________________
This piece took shape on another one of those days where I just let my thoughts flow and my fingers obeyed. i just penned down what I heard, felt and sensed. I never finished it and I do not intend on finishing it.
And so, I place it here. Today.
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I had no clue what I was doing there, witnessing this seemingly clandestine scene. perhaps I was there to calm myself down, to clear my head of the thousands of thoughts running through it, or just maybe to reflect upon the happenings in my life.
Whatever the case, the sight in front of me offered me an abode in which I could seek sanctuary; while I let my thoughts run wild. It allowed me to admire the simplicity with which the world was made; while I tried to untangle the web of my own life.
It was like any other day in the windy city, but for me, it meant so much more. After what seemed like eons, the day had finally arrived. I was conflicted within myself on what to think. I had trained myself, literally entrenched it into my head that after all this waiting, if things didn't work out, I could just simply say "F*** it". I would try again, of course, but I wouldn't let myself dwell on the negative aspect of it.
But what would I think if things did work out?
I saw it beautifully spread out before me... of what life would be like after the confirmation. I knew that this wasn't my entire life, that there were so many other things that mattered more, but I couldn't deny that it was a big part of me. of what I always wanted. Of what I always worked toward.
I thought about all those days I slaved through to just wait for this day. Those countless hours of studying, painstaking waiting on where I would be accepted and wondering when I would be able to begin yet another chapter.
But when I really think about it, my ultimate goal wasn't ever to become a 'doctor' in life. It wasn't what defined me, of who I truly was. It was a part of me, yes. But not ME.
It was about... hmmm... balance...
I suppose it had always been that way and this day was just another reflective moment when I tried to place my priorities together. Of course today mattered a lot, but what mattered most was balance in my life. This fine rope that I walked on, trying not to tip over and get sucked into the whirlpool of chasing after success or falling face down into an abyss of fun, where I never set any goals for myself. If I hadn't done that, I wouldn't be where I was today.
______________________________________________________________________
This piece took shape on another one of those days where I just let my thoughts flow and my fingers obeyed. i just penned down what I heard, felt and sensed. I never finished it and I do not intend on finishing it.
And so, I place it here. Today.
